"Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence." - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
This guy stopped watching porn — and he wants you to know why. Gender activist Ran Gavrieli felt that most of the images he saw in porn encouraged negative, even violent, attitudes toward women, despite a recent wave of feminist porn. So he pulled the plug, and found that his personal sex life and private fantasies became much more fulfilling.
In his talk at TEDxJaffa, he advocates for physically and emotionally-safe sex, as well as erotica that shows a wider range of fulfilling sexual experiences — including the intimacy of human connection, laughter, and touch. Watch his talk here.
Even if you don’t watch porn on a regular basis its conventions can still easily fuck up your internal sexual narrative. As a woman experiencing or fantasizing about (heterosexual) sex I realized that I began finding it easier to immerse myself in the imagined pleasure of the man than my own. Ain’t that some shit.
Very, very interesting. I look forward to watching this.
Edit: Okay, so I watched it. And while I do agree with the overall sentiment of his speech, I couldn’t help but think about some queer porn I’ve seen and not to mention some great ethical porn (see: The Crash Pad Series) throughout the video. What he’s talking about is a huuuuuuuuuge and definitely dominant part of the porn industry, and I agree about his views on that part, but porn done right is great, and I don’t doubt that there are actors out there who love their job. Yes, I imagine it’s fucking difficult as hell and you sacrifice and put up with so much just to be in the industry, but I wouldn’t generalize the experiences of everyone in every nook and cranny of the entire industry. Some people just really love sex and and are proud to express their sexuality on camera.
Porn can be a black hole, I agree, but it can also be great. Go watch what turns you on, but I guess also just be smart in your porn-watching, everyone. And for goodness sake, go check out the Crash Pad Series.