I don’t want to work somewhere anymore where I’m fucking elated that it’s Friday. I shouldn’t hate this shit so much. I spend that majority of my time here and it makes me so stressed out ffs uurrraaagggghhhhhh. CS sucks because people are demanding and needy and incompetent and dum~
Nothing crazy, just a GenEd class on gardening and stuff, but I feel like my brain and learning has become stagnant so this is the perfect solution. It’s 2 hours, once per week, for 8 weeks. Easy peasy.
Recently I’ve been thinking about going back to school (again) but I don’t want to jump into College without knowing if I’m ready or not. I know my attention span is crazy low and I’m super indecisive, so taking this one class for a short period of time will be perfecto.
I’m heading to Montreal this weekend with my lady and I’m trying to look up fun food places and bars and stuff to do while we’re there. If anyone has any suggestions for anything to do or anywhere to go this weekend, even if it’s small, not only will I greatly appreciate it but I will also keep you forever in my mind as I scroll through my dash for eternity to infinity and beyond.
I am particularly interested in
Staying in Mile End if that makes a difference to anyone.
< cue business speak> I thank you in advance and await your prompt replies.
Chelsea the not-funny person
Today was one of my more productive days at work and while I didn’t get everything done, I am starting to almost feel settled again since the holidays. I am content.
I would be 100x worse in the winter if I didn’t love winter so much.
Positive winter attitude is actually so helpful.
Also lots of vitamin D supplements.
RIGHT?! Last winter kicked my ass and beat my chest inward and left me feeling hopeless so I decided to at least have an “oh well” attitude toward winter this year. I sill hate this weather and it makes me not want to do anything but I’m forcing myself to notice any time I start to get down and feel hopeless about doing things and either say things like “but I LIKE staying in and binge-watching Dr. Who” or “well shit’s gotta get done so get your ass out there, then you can come back home and get all cozy and shit”
I went to Sneaky Dee’s with Jenn and others after predrinking at her place, after predrinking at a family dinner, after predrinking at my mom’s. Once at Sneak’s I unknowingly sacked a bouncer, performed a dance routine of epic proportions, and told a random girl I crossed paths with that Johnny Cash’s ‘Ring of Fire’ that was playing at the time was about fiery diarrhea poops.
They’re the only ones I’m not out to - I’m out to everyone else in my life. I hate hiding a part of me because someone may not like it. More than being sad and upsetting, being in the closet is annoying. I have to filter shit on Facebook and think up lies and tiptoe around topics so I don’t accidentally out myself. It’s tiring and upsetting and to be honest - it makes me angry. It puts a rift between me and other family where it shouldn’t be. It takes up energy explaining fake reasons why I haven’t dated a boy in however many years. It eats me up inside in the little moments where I rush to say “Oh my gosh did I tell you about the time Amanda and I…….” and then quickly bite my tongue, because they don’t know who she is to me.
It’s not fair and it’s upsetting and it’s annoying. I wouldn’t have to deal with this shit if I were straight so why the hell should I have to deal with it now?
Here come the ‘CHELSEA ARE YOU GAY?!?!?!?!?’ speculations.
But maybe not even because I’m pretty sure he doesn’t now how to Facebook. Or how to internet. Or how to computer.
Like, here I am at 11:30, just chillin’ in bed, drinking some wine, eating some chocolate-covered pretzels, binge-watching Dr. Who, and no one’s like, ‘go to bed’ ‘stop eating junk food’ ‘it’s after x:xxpm’ etc. etc.
I DO WHAT I WAWNT.
I’m often difficult to love. I go through dark periods like the moon and I hide from myself. But I promise I will kiss your wounds when they’re hurting. Even if they’re in your soul, I can find them with the light in my fingertips. I will lead you to the river so you can remember how beautiful it feels to be moved by something that is out of your control. And when our dark periods match, we can breathe with the grass and look at the night sky. The stars will remind us of the beauty in our struggles and we won’t feel lost anymore."
Someone just posted one of those crossword things where the first x words you find pertain to you/your life/etc. In this case it was the first three words you find are a predictor for 2014. My words were:
It’s absolutely and completely illogical to believe this little thing is actually a predictor for the year to come, but I feel like it’s just given a little validation to how I feel this year will shape up.