But also, happy father’s day, mumma. For all the times you held the responsibilities of two and provided the love and support of two, especially at times when only one was around. You are forever appreciated.
So last night I got too hot so I took my shirt off in my sleep, which I don’t recall doing but whatever this always happens. Apparently this was a large and annoying task though so I didn’t completely follow through with it because I’ve just woken up with my shirt half on my left arm.
I’m having a really weak day today and I don’t have the strength to reach out for a hug. I want a hug. I need a hug. A lap to lay in. I want my mom. I want blanky. I’m an adult and I want my childhood blanket and I don’t know where it is and it’s upsetting.
This anxiety is just so overwhelming and battling it is a really fucking hard battle. Why now? My life has been good, it’s been great, and then this onset of emotional instability has started to flip it upside down.
I’ve always been told that I’m so strong and so mature, but it really doesn’t feel like it right now. It really doesn’t feel like it.
Whenever I get debilitatingly sad, I pine for the little hidden field behind Huron Park in the late spring that seemed to be my spot for crying and writing and healing. Nature does it for me; long doses of nature gets the healing done.
“I was taught to see racism only in individual acts of meanness, not in invisible systems conferring dominance on my group”
DAILY EFFECTS OF WHITE PRIVILEGE
I decided to try to work on myself at least by identifying some of the daily effects of white privilege in my life…
Studied this at camp [fucking love camp] and then used it in a project in a high school media studies class. Gave everyone in the class a copy of all the points. I side-lined a lot just so I could talk about it and lost a bunch of marks buuut I didn’t really care too too much haha.
Good, informative, eye-opening read. If you haven’t already read it then give it a look.
- Now that is a horoscope I want to hear. Gemini, December 17th.
Was looking at some Osheaga pictures; we are the healthiest music fest snackers.
- Gemini horoscope, 30 November 2012.
I’m just going to take a moment to appreciate my girlfriend. If you want to skip the cheese, read no more haha.
I’ve never been with anyone more compassionate, caring, thoughtful, rational, passionate and above all, simply happy. We don’t argue, but we can discuss if there’s a disagreement. We don’t judge, we aren’t jealous, we can talk freely and openly about our thoughts/problems/fantasies/goals/needs/etc. We support each other. We have fun staying in, we have fun going on dates, we have fun in groups of each others’ friends. We take care of each other.
Some guy named Steve Hall said ”The truest form of love is how you behave toward someone, not how you feel about them.”
Now, I don’t know anything about Steve Hall, but that sentiment resonates with me. I’ve been with a few people, and some of them said they loved me. But then they behaved in ugly ways that I didn’t want to associate with the notion of love. And I behaved in ugly ways as a response to those feelings.
Finally I’ve met someone who surpasses my every expectation of what being in love should feel like. I am the happiest.
This girl right here makes me the happiest person in the entire fucking world and I don’t think I could ever find a better fit. You are the best fit, in my arms & in my heart.
And I love the shit outta ya.