2 years ago ▴ [1 note] ▴ reblog
Anonymous:
Whats your craziest story that involves nudity?

One time in about grade 3 or something, during recess a bunch of kids were playing some random ass game and one of the boys said something to the effect of me not being a girl and I was all ‘am too’ and they were all ‘dare you to prove it’ so I pulled my pants down to prove it.

My parents were called into the school and I had to sit down and have a talk with them in the principal’s office.

I don’t even know what was going through my mind [clearly nothing of substance since I pulled down my pants in the middle of the yard during recess hahah] but uh, yeah….. it’s a good story I guess. It’s just so odd because it’s not like I was a tomboy or anything and it never even crossed my mind to be offended, it was more like a ‘lol wut’s dis guy talkin’ ‘bout?’ thing.

Sorry if this wasn’t the kind of response you were looking for Mr/Mrs. Anon but it’s the best one I could find in the memory bank.

3 years ago ▴ [2 notes] ▴ reblog
Hahahah why am I so bait?

So, my mom loves 1 Girl 5 Gays, and MTV is airing the lesbian special and she was like “Oh what’s going on they’re doing it with girls now!” and I went out to the living room and was like “Oh yeah they’re doing a special with lesbians for like 4/5 episode it looks really cool” and proceeded to watch and secretly gush inside and try to hold in my smile at all of the discussions. Then I realized how blatantly obvious I was and left the room.

GOOD ONE, CHELSEA. GOOD ONE.

3 years ago ▴ [3 notes] ▴ reblog
MORTIFIED.

Today I stopped by my old work. As I was leaving I saw this guy I worked with and, being me, I decided to try and be charming and funny and say “Heyyyyyyy, nice bum, where ya from?!

It took him a second to realize I was talking to him.

Except-

it wasn’t him.

It was some random new guy.

I quickly apologized and turned around to a bunch of people looking. All I could say was, “Uhhhh, yeah, I thought that was someone else, I thought it was Jamie, um, another server, um, I used to work here, okay bye.”

And then I quickly walked out.

THIS IS MY LIFE.

WHAT IS MY LIFE.

Holy fuck.

ahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahahah

STILL CRINGING.

4 years ago ▴ [4,910 notes] ▴ reblog
I hate finishing novels.

I make friends with the characters, share their experiences, and root them on. Then the book ends and they stop talking to me.

cuntented:

macaroononastick: (via fuckyeahreading, dreamtastic)